


And Our Pens Shall Be Our Swords

by FanficCornerWriter19, holyfckingshtno



Category: Edgar Allan Poe's Murder Mystery Dinner Party (Web Series), Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018), Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No one dies, Ambitious But Rubbish, Bad at tagging, Developing Relationships, F/F, F/M, Lenore is Edgar's Sister, M/M, Multi, Sorry Not Sorry, but hey, chat fic, chatfic fluff ensues, in both English and Tagalog, more tags to come, now there's a depressing thought, so kids beware, swearing is a thing, yes Mr. Joaquin I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-10-19 10:17:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17599403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficCornerWriter19/pseuds/FanficCornerWriter19, https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyfckingshtno/pseuds/holyfckingshtno
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. A vaguely modern!college!texting AU, in which every writer has a few web pieces online and is invited to a web fiction convention in—you guessed it: Madrid, Spain.Or: in which Edgar meets Pepe in Spain and due to being chaotic as fuck, adds him to the GC.





	1. Consensus: Edgar is a Stupid Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a first for both writers, as we've never collaborated before, but you know what they say about firsts. One of us may go back and edit something the other has written and vice versa, and one or the other of us might post chapters, but in the end we're writing on the same story so it doesn't really matter. 
> 
> We didn't do a lot of research going in to the project, so we don't know if there really are any web fiction conventions held in Madrid. We also don't know if there's a fountain there. 
> 
> Names:  
> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin

edgartheraven: i'm invited to a web fiction writers' convention thing in spain in like a week guys  
brontayyyyy: stupid bitch we all are  
filmnore: ?? i am not invited nor am i a writer but okay...  
yoitsfyo: *except lenore and annabel  
filmnore: now i feel offended lol thanks  
yoitsfyo: oof sorry  
annabananalee: :c  
edgartheraven: don't worry there are plus ones guys!  
filmnore: take me dumb bitch  
edgartheraven: and annabel you can be my plus one :))  
filmnore: trAITOR  
annabananalee: aw thanks edgar!! very kind of you :D  
thewayoftheheming: but what about lenore she seems mad lmfaooo  
filmnore: YEAH WHAT ABOUT ME, YOUR SISTER, EDGAR??  
milliedick: you can be my plus one idm  
mercurywells: you can be my plus one if you like heh  
filmnore: YES thank you hg  
milliedick: ok thanks for ignoring me :")  
itsalive: its alr em i love u  
twomalenames: we appreciate ur efforts babe <3  
filmnore: who tf is em  
  
shewasstabbed: sorry late reply but yeah ur a stupid bitch ed 

* * *

filmnore: do yall wanna take the same van to the airport or sumn  
filmnore: or like 2 cars bc were like way too many ppl lmao  
edgartheraven: why are you still awake? it's 3am  
filmnore: why are YOU still awake weren't you supposed to be crying yourself to sleep like 4hrs ago  
itsalive: why is anyone still alive  
oscarwildin: uh did you mean awake  
itsalive: no not at all why  
oscarwildin: but anyways yes lenore  
filmnore: whos willing to sacrifice their cars  
oscarwildin: not me my cars arent for peasants like you  
oscarwildin: jk  
oscarwildin: /2  
filmnore: …..ok whos not dramatic and is willing to give up a car next week  
twomalenames: me bc im deffo a car dude  
brontayyyyy: i read that as "im deffo a car, dude"  
twomalenames: i am a car fuck yeah vroom vroom  
filmnore: ,,,,sure mary ann how many ppl can fit  
twomalenames: (1) i am GEORGE (2) ,,,like 4,,,,,,  
filmnore: (1) OKAY (2) seriously?? ok fine  
oscarwildin: i mean you DID ask who was willing  
brontayyyyy: she also said not dramatic  
twomalenames: *lounging on a couch in a faux fur robe while sipping tea* I AM NOT DRAMATIC  
filmnore: LMAO NVM BIG MOOD HONEY  
yoitsfyo: i mean i have a van i guess? it can fit maybe 7 people so that's enough for us  
itsalive: no?? it's not enough?? if ur forgetting about our super amazing gf again i will slaughter you  
milliedick: it's fine babe  
twomalenames: it's not fine! there are 12 of us  
filmnore: wait really i thought there were only 11 of us  
yoitsfyo: hmm my van can fit 8 people i think  
yoitsfyo: if you guys sit properly  
oscarwildin: im gay i cant sit properly  
yoitsfyo: I will force you to sit properly if it is the last thing i do  
oscarwildin: …ngl thats hot  
itsalive: ,,,, oscar  
filmnore: so it's settled, we're using fyodor's and GEORGE's car  
twomalenames: yes that is correct THANK YOU  
filmnore: wtf i heard a thud upstairs  
itsalive: GHOST HUNTING TIME GHOST HUNTING TIME  
filmnore: im going up lets go  
itsalive: WOOOOO  
oscarwildin: be careful it might just be one of edgar's birds and it probably just died  
filmnore: idk probably not bc it was a loud thud  
milliedick: maybe EDGAR died  
twomalenames: babe,,,  
milliedick: what  
filmnore: nvm edgar just passed out LMAO yikes im putting this hoe to bed  
twomalenames: ohmygod 


	2. Should I Bring the Microwave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're just going to keep posting the names so in case we have a long gap between updates y'all can still keep track of who's who: 
> 
> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Lenore Poe: filmnore  
> Annabel Lee: annabananalee  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin

itsalive: where are yall seated on the plane  
itsalive: george + emily + i are sitting together ofc but wb yall  
edgartheraven: hg & lenore are in the row in front of annabel & me  
yoitsfyo: i'm two rows behind yall  
oscarwildin: im across across the aisle from george I think  
twomalenames: u know what this means  
itsalive: oh no  
twomalenames: c h a o s  
itsalive: babe no  
twomalenames: BABE YES  
annabananalee: what abt charlotte and agatha  
shewasstabbed: idk and idc  
brontayyyyy: we’re sitting next to fyodor bc reasons  
shewasstabbed: char  
edgartheraven: so, are you guys packed?  
mercurywells: ...should I bring my microwave?  
itsalive: is that even allowed hg  
thewayoftheheming: wait when’s the flight lmao  
edgartheraven: do you even have a ticket ernest?  
thewayoftheheming: wait a min  
itsalive: wtf ernest  
thewayoftheheming: FOUND IT  
thewayoftheheming: wtf it’s tomorrow????!!  
filmnore: yes, everyone else knew that ernest  
thewayoftheheming: okay so who’s going to enjoy the pleasure of a ride to the airport alongside my dashing self  
filmnore: ugh  
filmnore: hey george and fyodor, u 2 r driving right  
yoitsfyo: I was not aware of that but ok  
twomalenames: yup  
edgartheraven: which of you gentlemen is willing to take on the burden of the arrogant womanizing drunk?  
thewayoftheheming: love you too ed  
edgartheraven: go away ernest  
yoitsfyo: sure he can go with me i don’t mind  
itsalive: either way charlotte + george + em + i are gonna be away from all u bitches

* * *

edgartheraven: okay so we have a day or two before the con  
edgartheraven: so who’s in my hotel and what do you guys wanna do  
annabananalee: I think I’m with u edgar  
edgartheraven: anyone else?  
thewayoftheheming: I don’t have a reservation  
edgartheraven: of course you don’t  
oscarwildin: heeyyy yaall  
oscarwildin: im pretty sure fyodor, the triad, miss bronte and miss christie are all in the same hotel  
oscarwildin: which is not mine  
yoitsfyo: no I think I’m in your hotel oscar??  
oscarwildin: what???  
yoitsfyo: yeah!  
edgartheraven: okay guys, unpack asap and let’s go sightsee!  
filmnore: NOW WE’RE TALKIN  
edgartheraven: meet me, annabel, and ernest at the Plaza Mayor  
edgartheraven: can’t really miss it, it’s got a statue of Phillip III in it  
mercurywells: i think i’m having separation anxiety from my microwave…  
itsalive: oh come on hg u being separated from lenore would be worse  
twomalenames: yeah hg dw abt it  
twomalenames: it’s only for like four days  
mercurywells: the tech in spain tho…  
filmnore: exactly babe now come on enjoy madrid with me!!!  
mercurywells: oh um okay :)  
filmnore: you see EDGAR im spending QUALITY TIME with someone i love who is NOT YOU  
edgartheraven: good for you sister dear  
filmnore: and bad for you since youre not with your little crush ;D  
edgartheraven: i have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, lenore!  
filmnore: sureeeee ;)  
filmnore: so you wouldn’t mind me hmmm talking about who i think youd be totes cute with  
twomalenames: not to interrupt this nice sibling moment but em&mary&i are at the plaza  
edgartheraven: finally! but who is em  
itsalive: omg  
twomalenames: i will fight u for our gf’s honor  
milliedick: babe no it’s fine  
thewayoftheheming: poe i think i lost u  
edgartheraven: ERNEST!!

* * *

edgartheraven: convention day!  
edgartheraven: do u all have your passes?  
filmnore: contrary to popular belief, brother mine  
filmnore: not all of us are complete idiots unlike SOME PEOPLE  
edgartheraven: if you make a hit at me one more time i’m kicking you out of the room  
annabananalee: edgar!  
edgartheraven: what why  
annabananalee: im sure lenore’s just kidding :(  
filmnore: yes EDGAR im jus kidding bro  
edgartheraven: fine annabel :)  
yoitsfyo: okay you dramatic fools let’s just enjoy the con  
itsalive: true  
itsalive: everybody off!


	3. José Rizal

Edgar had lost Annabel near the merch part of the con, and Lenore and HG around the tech talk bit. He wandered around in the center of the… well, convention center, in the middle of which was a damnably nice fountain surrounded by potted plants. A bit simplistic - just white tile with highlights of pastel tastefully placed throughout - but damnably nice all the same. He leaned on one of the elegant, curling benches by the fountain to wait for his companions; he’d already seen all he’d wanted to see today anyway.

“It’s just Andoy, Pepe, the hell are you running for?” someone yelled, and that was all the warning Edgar got.

Something small, dark, and surprisingly heavy crashed into him hard enough to topple him over. Edgar had about a second of panic and a second of hearing the spray and feeling the damp of the fountain behind him to think, “I’m going to fall in the fountain,” before being yanked upright by a strong grip on his suit jacket. 

A voice began speaking to him in rapid-fire Spanish, and the only parts he could get were ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘are you okay?’.

“Si,” he murmured, steadying himself. “Soy bien.”

The writer blinked. Before him stood a man who couldn’t have been more than five inches taller than five feet, though he looked to be in his early twenties, with a small moustache to boot. His hair was slicked to one side of his face, and he was dressed in a semi-formal HG-esque outfit, minus the goggles: white dress shirt, dark waistcoat, long coat, and shiny half-boots. His complexion was an Eastern cappuccino-brown, and his dark eyes had the slight Eastern slant.

When in doubt, use the local language.

“Hola,” he said, in what was likely a very thick American accent. “Me llamo Edgar Allan Poe.”

The young man laughed. “Hablo ingles, señor.” Damn it, he had a _flawless_ Spanish. “Y mi nombre es José. José Rizal. —Pero dime Pepe.” Oh, he was laughing at Edgar now!

“Sorry, what? Forgive my American-ness.” The aforesaid American writer had to let go of the urge to do something petty to the kid in front of him, regardless of the fact that the ‘kid’ was probably within seven years of Edgar’s own age.

José Rizal—as far as he was able to ascertain—held out his hand to shake, with a smile that seemed simultaneously apologetic and amused. “My name is José, but call me Pepe. And don’t worry about it—besides, I’m the one who almost soaked you before even meeting you.” For God’s sake, he had a perfect American accent too. Edgar stiffly shook his hand.

“I’m… I’m actually kind of lost.” José—or Pepe—grinned more genuinely at Edgar. “I lost my friends.”

“So did I, actually.”

Pepe shrugged. “Would you like to search for our absent companions together?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assuming that you all know what 'si' and 'hola' mean:  
> 'Soy bien.'—"I'm good."  
> 'Me llamo Edgar Allan Poe.'—"My name is Edgar Allan Poe."  
> 'Hablo ingles, señor.'—"I speak English, sir."  
> 'Y mi nombre es José. José Rizal. -Pero dime Pepe.'—"And my name is José. José Rizal. -But call me Pepe."
> 
> Please also keep in mind I'm still in the early stages of learning Spanish. I am definitely not very good at it.


	4. Meet the Filipinos (part 1) or: Oo Nga Naman, Bobong Rizal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila

edgartheraven added Jose P. Rizal to the chat

Jose P. Rizal changed his own nickname to pepeboy  
filmnore: who tf is this  
edgartheraven: this dude who almost pushed me into a fountain despite being like 5’2”  
pepeboy: for the last time poe -  
pepeboy: okay listen up everyone cuz I won’t say this again!  
pepeboy: (1) I’m from the philippines, therefore I am called a filipino (2) yes, I am short, for YOU (3) over there my height isn’t all that short (4) I am also a writer, hence my place at this con  
twomalenames: nice  
itsalive: so are you a guy or a girl  
pepeboy: …  
itsalive: well you see—  
pepeboy: you guys at least know what gender ‘Jose’ is right  
brontayyyyy: idk u could do like mary ann here  
pepeboy: who?  
brontayyyyy: calls herself george eliot  
pepeboy: well if she wants to I got no problem  
pepeboy: but I AM a guy lol  
filmnore: a guy who’s like 5’2”  
filmnore: hmmm  
pepeboy: look here, I’m AT LEAST 5’3”  
itsalive: what’s with the last name?  
itsalive: nice last name, btw  
pepeboy: pen name, sorta  
pepeboy: my real name is technically jose protacio realonda-alonso mercado  
pepeboy: but back in spanish times my parents families had dual last names  
pepeboy: my mom’s kept it, my dad’s sort of deleted the ‘rizal’  
pepeboy: but ‘jose rizal’ sounds better than ‘jose realonda’  
pepeboy: so rizal it is  
annabananalee: hey I thought mary said everybody off?!  
annabananalee: omg new friend!!  
annabananalee: i’m annabel lee  
annabananalee: and you are?  
pepeboy: jose protacio a. mercado, aka jose rizal  
pepeboy: but you guys can call me pepe  
thewayoftheheming: the fuck kind of nickname is that  
pepeboy: idk, it’s just my nickname  
pepeboy: hey everyone can I add some of my other filipino friends  
edgartheraven: i don’t know…  
annabananalee: sure!  
filmnore: more people who aren’t edgar, WHY NOT  
twomalenames: any girls?  
twomalenames: either way, okay  
itsalive: sure  
milliedick: as long as they won’t ignore me  
pepeboy: @milliedick wdym?  
filmnore: milliedick who?  
pepeboy: ah  
pepeboy: well I don’t think they will  
miliedick: then sure  
thewayoftheheming: i’m with george  
thewayoftheheming: any girls?  
pepeboy: depends  
thewayoftheheming: eh i’ll chance it

pepeboy added Andoy Bonifacio, Nicomedes Joaquin, and Gregorio del Pilar  
Nicomedes Joaquin changed his own nickname to aquestionofjoaquin  
aquestionofjoaquin changed Gregorio del Pilar’s nickname to goyotheaguila  
Andoy Bonifacio changed his own nickname to andresbonipakyu

filmnore: your name is NICOMEDES?!  
aquestionofjoaquin: everyone calls me nick  
aquestionofjoaquin: assuming pepe (and/or the other pinoys he adds here) is as much of a bastard here as he was when he was in the ph  
aquestionofjoaquin: i’ll be your filipino-english translator for like,,, ever  
andresbonipakyu: onga naman bobong rizal  
edgartheraven: what did he say  
aquestionofjoaquin: ...not you too andoy  
andresbonipakyu: ur welcome nicky wicky !!!  
thewayoftheheming: NICKY WICKY  
goyotheaguila: he basically referred to pepe as dumb thats all you need to know LMFAO  
filmnore: im loving this™  
andresbonipakyu: ANYWAY hi i’m andres, u can call me andoy, and i’ve been a fan of rizal’s work since he released his first novel  
andresbonipakyu: since then i started a group called the kkk for short  
brontayyyyy: THE KKK???????  
andresbonipakyu: whites……mga asumero talaga  
aquestionofjoaquin: the kataas taasang, kagalang galangang katipunan ng mga anak ng bayan. not the ku klux klan ://  
aquestionofjoaquin: and what what he called u folks doesn't really have a translation  
aquestionofjoaquin: but basically u jump to conclusions  
goyotheaguila: andoy started it when he didnt know yet that white people were total disappointments :)) no offense to you guys  
twomalenames: no yeah we totally get it  
aquestionofjoaquin: the kkk for us is the “supreme, most respectable brotherhood of the children of the nation” and basically they’re the revolution and they fight against our shitty government and/or people who try to take over our land  
filmnore: my kind of ppl :)  
edgartheraven: chaotic good at its finest  
pepeboy: eh I think it's a little extreme  
goyotheaguila: oh no pepe not again  
andresbonipakyu: rizal can u stop insulting my org >:(  
pepeboy: I think you’ll agree, Bonifacio, that violence doesn’t have a place in this day and age and your organization is more suited to the black-and-white of the 1800s  
goyotheaguila: omg pepes using proper punctuation watch out everyone  
filmnore: wait andres name is bonifacio???  
andresbonipakyu: lol andoy is like pepe it’s just my nickname  
filmnore: but bonifacio??  
filmnore: OH I GET IT NOW  
andresbonipakyu: aaaaanddd the penny drops :)  
itsalive: do u guys use pennies too?  
andresbonipakyu: ay no  
aquestionofjoaquin: the philippines just speaks a lot of english  
aquestionofjoaquin: basically if you’re educated you speak english  
annabananalee: oh cool  
pepeboy: is boni gone  
andresbonipakyu: WTF RIZAL???  
pepeboy: what  
andresbonipakyu: BONI?!  
pepeboy: well it’s exhausting to have to type ‘bonifacio’ all the time!  
andresbonipakyu: then why don’t u just call me andres like NORMAL PPL  
goyotheaguila: okay pepes punctuation is back to normal  
goyotheaguila: but hold ur horses ladies n gentlemen cuz its not over yet  
goyotheaguila: bc andres is using all caps :|  
pepeboy: goyo  
goyotheaguila: um yes  
pepeboy: you’re next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oo nga (onga) naman, bobong Rizal" is close enough to "You're right; dumbass Rizal" hehe
> 
> And "mga asumero" refers to people who assume too much; "talaga" means "truly/really" :)
> 
> FCW19: don't worry about me I'm just layout-conscious lol :)


	5. Meet the Filipinos (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila  
> Emilio Jacinto: goyosucks

goyotheaguila: RISE AND SHINE MY FRIENDS  
filmnore: it’s literally 5pm everyone’s still awake?? (i assume)  
goyotheaguila: :)  
filmnore: ok,,,  
goyotheaguila: :))  
edgartheraven: hm goyo I just noticed your username means goyo the eagle  
edgartheraven: (I'm reading an english-spanish dictionary so i could converse with locals idk)  
edgartheraven: are you a bird enthusiast too?  
twomalenames: oh goD no pls dont let this be hapPENING  
goyotheaguila: no lol ppl call me an aguila here  
brontayyyyy: why tho  
goyotheaguila: long story im too lazy  
goyotheaguila: another time lmao  
andresbonipakyu: oh come on lagi ka namang tamad tangina  
goyotheaguila: di kaya  
shewasstabbed: what???  
twomalenames: @aquestionofjoaquin  
brontayyyyy: @aquestionofjoaquin pls  
edgartheraven: wait let's use google translate  
oscarwildin: you as a writer should know how inaccurate that is edgar  
edgartheraven: it's our only chance at the moment  
yoitsfyo: just look up an english-filipino dictionary  
yoitsfyo: aren’t there any online?  
goyotheaguila: :)  
edgartheraven: “you again lazy tangina”????  
oscarwildin: what did i tell you bitch  
annabananalee: oscar, be kind :(  
filmnore: sorry anna edgars not being sensible :) im w oscar on this one  
edgartheraven: fine i won't use google translate  
edgartheraven: it doesn't even make sense  
itsalive: we all knew that already but thanks for reiterating edgar  
pepeboy: bat ka pa ba gising goyo  
goyotheaguila: bc i want to be  
thewayoftheheming: i just got here but WHAT ARE YOU SAYING  
goyotheaguila: everything we can be saying na di maintindihan ng mga banyaga. saya kaya  
pepeboy: saya = fun in this context  
brontayyyyy: thanks for translating ONE WORD rizal  
goyotheaguila: jose protacio rizal mercado y alonzo realonda you RUINED it  
thewayoftheheming: thanks pepe the frog,,  
pepeboy: oh  @edgartheraven  can i add more of my homeboiz  
filmnore: yes more people who i assume arent as stupid as my dear brother  
pepeboy: also i never liked pepe the frog  
edgartheraven: …i love you too lenore  
edgartheraven: also

pepeboy added Marcelo H. del Pilar, Emilio Jacinto, and 4 more to the chat.

pepeboy: @Marcelo H. del Pilar @Emilio Jacinto @Graciano Lopez-Jaena @Francisco Baltazar @Francisco Balagtas @Antonio Luna hi guys i added u to a chat full of dayuhans don’t translate anything that’s nick’s job  
goyotheaguila: lol bakit dalawa yung acc ni francisco  
pepeboy: oh wait lol

pepeboy removed Francisco Baltazar from the chat.  
Emilio Jacinto changed his own nickname to goyosucks

goyosucks: goyo woke me up to tell me this shit tf  
goyotheaguila: ;0  
goyosucks: alam mo amputa mo  
brontayyyyy: suddenly after all this being monolingual seems bland  
pepeboy: that’s bc it is lmao  
goyosucks: lol ur username is pepeboy when we know tite gusto mo  
pepeboy: WALANG PERSONALAN PUCHA  
thewayoftheheming: i understood only one word from pepe's sentence and it was "personal" it's not even a full word  
yoitsfyo: i'm just a bilingual man ,,, my skills are useless here ,,,,,, someone hand me vodka  
oscarwildin: it's okay fyodor i still think ur hot  
twomalenames: oscar,,,,not the time  
itsalive: oscar i—  
milliedick: this message is ignored  
goyotheaguila: @milliedick what  
edgartheraven: both of you just went on at the same time?  
goyosucks: huh??  
filmnore: george and mary are dating  
goyotheaguila: who are george and mary  
milliedick: actually im dating them too  
brontayyyyy: oh right we haven't,,, REALLY been acquainted w one another  
brontayyyyy: introduce yourselves americans and brits  
edgartheraven: Edgar Allan Poe. i love ravens as you may infer  
filmnore: im lenore (the cooler poe)  
annabananalee: i'm Annabel Lee !! uwu  
pepeboy: oh worm big uwu  
brontayyyyy: charlotte brontë, pen name currer bell  
yoitsfyo: fyodor dostoevsky. obviously im russian  
pepeboy: ooh wait let me PM you @yoitsfyo  
oscarwildin: oh dear  
goyosucks: dw pepe is straight ;) ;) idk he's probs just going to be a little less of a dick and only talk to fyodor in russian over PM  
oscarwildin: what  
itsalive: im mary shelley and im emo as fuck  
oscarwildin: oscar wilde obviously  
twomalenames: george eliot  
oscarwildin: good job mary ann evans  
twomalenames: i am GEORGE ELIOT  
pepeboy: oh so this is george eliot? hi george eliot  
twomalenames: THANK YOU and hello  
milliedick: emily dickinson and im constantly ignored  
shewasstabbed: my name's agatha christie and i'm almost always online but ignoring my messages  
edgartheraven: thanks agatha  
shewasstabbed: no problemo  
mercurywells: lenore told me to take a break to introduce myself hello i am hg wells dont ask me what hg stands for  
thewayoftheheming: im ernest hemingway and i love women  
goyosucks: ok goyo tells me he and the others have introduced themselves so  
goyosucks: my name is emilio jacinto and i have a weird love hate relationship with goyo  
filmnore: hmm i see ,,,, eye emoji eye emoji  
goyotheaguila: why don't you just,,, type the actual emoji  
filmnore: it’s way more fun this way also my brother is an idiot who doesn’t like how emojis are drawn on his device smh  
edgartheraven: we use the same brand of smartphone lenore  
filmnore: at least i appreciate the illustration >://  
filmnore: anyway he doesn’t want anyone to use them while he’s online sksksjskjs ?? i’m PISSING  
goyotheaguila: thats like the most pathetic thing ive heard today lmao  
pepeboy: yuck local  
goyotheaguila: i mean pepe you're a fuckboy  
thewayoftheheming: BEING A FUCKBOY ≠ BEING A LOCAL  
pepeboy: THANK YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These translations are more about the actual meaning of what's being said rather than the literal words, since most Pinoy expressions' English translations are rather colder and missing the 'bro-ness' of Filipino.
> 
> "[pa]lagi ka namang tamad tangina" = "you're always lazy you son of a bitch"  
> "'di (hindi) kaya" = "no i'm not"  
> "bat (bakit) ka pa ba gising" = "why are you still awake"  
> "...na 'di (hindi) maintindihan ng mga banyaga" = "...that can't be understood by foreigners"  
> "saya kaya" = "it's actually kind of fun"  
> "dayuhan" = "foreigner"  
> "bakit dalawa yung acc ni francisco" = "why does francisco have two accs"  
> "alam mo amputa mo" = "you know what fuck you"  
> ,,,,,, "pepe" is "vagina" in one of the filipino languages VS "tite" being "dick" so Ilyong (Emilio Jacinto) is making a pun  
> "walang personalan pucha" = "don't get personal shit" [lol this is a rather untranslatable phrase despite being borrowed from English. It's more like two separate statements: 'don't get personal here Ilyong you fucking traitor' and 'shit I got exposed']


	6. How Do Nicknames Work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila  
> Emilio Jacinto: goyosucks  
> Antonio Luna: antangaluna  
> Joven Hernando (he's fictional too!! :0): babyjh  
> Vicente Enriquez: entengenriquez

edgartheraven: wait @goyotheaguila  
goyotheaguila: dude what it’s like 3 am  
edgartheraven: er no it’s like 8 PM  
edgartheraven: @pepeboy can you gather all your friends together so we can all meet in person at once  
pepeboy: wtf u thought we were all here in spain?  
pepeboy: sorry edgar  
pepeboy: tonyo and goyo aren’t even writers?  
pepeboy: they’re like in military academy in the ph dude  
edgartheraven: ah that explains it  
edgartheraven: well goyo sorry for bothering you but also how is your nickname goyo  
goyotheaguila: what?  
Antonio Luna: his name is gregorio

pepeboy changed Antonio Luna’s nickname to antangaluna

antangaluna: THANKS pepe  
pepeboy: ur welcoommmeeee :)))  
edgartheraven: yes, his name is gregorio? how does that translate to goyo  
pepeboy: it’s a traditional nickname  
aquestionofjoaquin: taking the last few syllables is a nicknaming convention in the ph  
aquestionofjoaquin: ‘goyo’ is how a child would pronounce ‘gorio’  
aquestionofjoaquin: so back when a lot of gregorios had a ton of younger siblings and cousins that’s what they would be called  
aquestionofjoaquin: and tradition did the rest  
andresbonipakyu: mine isn't the last few syllables policy tho imagine trying to make “dres” a nickname  
edgartheraven: oh hey pepe do you have any other nicknames?  
pepeboy: way back bfore I was a writer ‘rizal’ was a nn  
pepeboy: but now I’m just always pepe  
itsalive; you would not BELIEVE the crazy shit they come up with for jose  
pepeboy: oh I wouldn’t, would I?  
pepeboy: bring it shelley  
itsalive: Chepe, Cheo, Josesito, Joselito, Ze, Zeze, Zeca, Zezinho  
twomalenames: babe  
itsalive: wait i got more  
twomalenames: ZEZINHO?!  
thewayoftheheming: ok that’s a good one  
filmnore: motion to nickname pepe zezinho for like ever  
pepeboy: nO  
goyosucks: motion seconded  
pepeboy: not you too ilyong!  
goyosucks: well it’s gonna be a scream isn’t it pepe  
pepeboy: hoe don’t do it  
goyosucks: *zezinho  
andresbonipakyu: aw come on rizal don’t act like you don’t like it  
pepeboy: boni stay off my goddamn nickname  
andresbonipakyu: *zezinho  
pepeboy: you are all a disgrace  
annabananalee: idk it’s kinda cute  
aquestionofjoaquin: I leave the chat for TEN MINUTES guys  
aquestionofjoaquin: TEN MINUTES  
goyotheaguila: oh wtf  
goyotheaguila: OMG PEPE  
pepeboy: goyo please I beg of you  
goyotheaguila: *zezinho  
pepeboy: trAITOR  
antangaluna: your name is zezinho now, deal with it  
pepeboy: oMG nick ang ewan nilang lahaaat help me bro  
filmnore: i understood about five words of that  
annabananalee: wait so what DID he say  
aquestionofjoaquin: basically that you are all idiots and fuckers and that he’s ashamed to be associated with you  
itsalive: all that in four words?  
itsalive: zezinho, im impressed  
pepeboy: di yun yung sinabi ko pero oks na yun clap clap good job nick  
edgartheraven: what was that  
aquestionofjoaquin: don’t mind him  
goyotheaguila: ...meaning that’s not exactly what he said but given the context nick did a good job  
aquestionofjoaquin: GOYO  
pepeboy: gOYO  
goyotheaguila: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

pepeboy added Joven Hernando to the chat  
pepeboy changed Joven Hernando’s nickname to babyjh

pepeboy: joven help me  
babyjh: what kind of a nickname did you give me pepe  
goyotheaguila: zezinho you brought JOVEN into this?!  
goyotheaguila: you bastard  
pepeboy: joven please  
babyjh: what  
goyosucks: just backread boi  
babyjh: aWWWWW PEPE  
pepeboy: joven you are mY LAST RESORT  
babyjh: i think ‘zezinho’ is cute tho !!  
pepeboy: JOVEN  
pepeboy: you trAITOR

babyjh added Vicente Enriquez to the chat

Vicente Enriquez: omg babe where am i

Vicente Enriquez changed his own nickname to entengenriquez

entengenriquez: wait pepe WAHAHAHHAHA  
entengenriquez: i mean *ZEZINHO  
filmnore: this is SO RICH  
pepeboy: I HATE ALL OF YOU  
pepeboy: except joven you’re amazing and i love you but YOU BETRAYED ME  
andresbonipakyu: oh get over yourself rizal  
andresbonipakyu: hehe **zezinho

pepeboy has left the chat  
goyotheaguila added pepeboy to the chat  
goyotheaguila changed pepeboy’s nickname to zezinhoboiiii

zezinhoboiiii: sTOP  
goyotheaguila: sorry zezinho :)) (im not sorry :))) hehe)

zezinhoboiiii changed his own nickname to pepeboy

pepeboy: lET ME KEEP MY DIGNITY  
itsalive: not a chance  
pepeboy: so you all are just gonna do this huh,,,, ://  
goyosucks: yeah basically :)  
pepeboy: amputa nyo talaga >:(  
pepeboy: @edgartheraven can I leave now pls  
edgartheraven: not a chance, zezinho  
pepeboy: fuck you too, goddamn traitors  
andresbonipakyu: aaaaand he slammed his phone back into his bag  
andresbonipakyu: he’s storming off now  
annabananalee: maybe we went too far  
goyotheaguila: dw hell probs calm down in an hour or two  
antangaluna: wait andoy wtf are you doing in spain? you’re not a writer  
goyosucks: he’s my +1 cuz of the katipunan articles  
goyosucks: he went after zezinho lolol those two  
filmnore: wait there’s a ‘those two’ for them?  
filmnore: I need ALL the deets  
andresbonipakyu: no there isn’t  
goyosucks: i’ll pm u what’s ur name?  
filmnore: lenore poe  
andresbonipakyu: putangina mo ilyong  
goyosucks: ilyt andresss  
andresbonipakyu: shut up jkjk we’re good  
aquestionofjoaquin: and andoy just called ilyong a son of a bitch  
aquestionofjoaquin: so never repeat that outside of this gc ever

* * *

andresbonipakyu: so zezinho is kind of ok with it now  
andresbonipakyu: but he’s still a bit touchy so don’t poke the lion guys  
goyosucks: stupid bitch it’s poke the bear  
andresbonipakyu: *gestures at name*  
pepeboy: okay guys you better fucking thank bonifacio bc otherwise I probably would’ve murdered you all in your sleep  
filmnore: honey that is such a big mood  
oscarwildin: i feel like ive missed a lot  
itsalive: bOY have you  
yoitsfyo: I haven’t, mostly because zezinho ranted to me about it half in russian and half in filipino  
yoitsfyo: next time zeze, remember that I’m only a bilingual man  
pepeboy: I'm SORRY, fyodor  
pepeboy: what he left out was he yelled at me in russian for like a whole minute, like complete with the all caps  
yoitsfyo: he is a LIAR  
pepeboy: nope lemme show yall  
yoitsfyo: NO  
pepeboy sent a screenshot  
pepeboy sent a screenshot  
pepeboy sent a screenshot  
filmnore: lmaoooo I can’t understand anything but hey  
filmnore: seeing fyodor yell at someone is rlly refreshing idk  
filmnore; but lowkey he’s so mad  
pepeboy: you’re telling ME

* * *

**Messages between Lenore Poe and Emilio Jacinto**

LP: so whats the deal with andres and zezinho  
EJ: idk there’s just always… a lot… of tension…  
LP: wdym tension  
LP: like sexual tension?  
EJ: yes  
EJ: and more  
LP: lol i thought u said zezinho was straight?  
EJ: yeah that was a joke  
EJ: anyway!  
EJ: they were pretty good friends back in high school when they were part of the same club that straight-A zeze founded  
LP: was there *tension* even theN?  
EJ: no one is sure…  
LP: omg omg  
EJ: wait for it  
EJ: then andoy founded the katipunan and he was so proud  
EJ: so he went to tell zezinho about it  
EJ: and they kind of sorta had a fight about values and violence  
EJ: I think they meant it to be a debate  
LP: but it was more of a fight  
EJ: exactly  
EJ: their friendship was never the same  
EJ: since this was close to graduation and they were going to different schools they didn’t interact much after that  
LP: oh ouch  
EJ: when the ilustrados (that’s our group) became a thing they met again  
LP: omg  
EJ: yeah it was kind of tense for a while  
LP: i wanna hear THAT story  
EJ: no can do  
EJ: that’s theirs to tell  
LP: ngl thats rlly sad  
EJ: and what makes it even sadder is that everyone in the ilustrados is pretty sure andoy has a crush on zezinho  
LP: omg poor andres  
EJ: yeahhh  
EJ: a lot of us are on the fence about whether or not zezinho’s even gay, let alone returns that crush  
EJ: so we’re gonna have to wait and see  
LP: awww thats cute but also rlly angsty  
EJ: yeah  
EJ: but don’t tell anyone I told you bc both of them would kill me  
LP: pinky promise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some context on antonio's username: "an[g] tanga" = stupid/the stupidity
> 
> "ang ewan (aywan) nilang lahat" = like there's not even a word to describe the people you're referring to. "aywan/ewan" literally means "i don't know"
> 
> "[hin]di yun yung sinabi ko" = "that's not what i said"
> 
> "pero oks na yun" = "but that's okay/fine" (oks is just a shortening of okay lmao)
> 
> FCW19: again, don't mind me I'm just a layout-conscious nerd over here in the corner.


	7. I'm Only A Bilingual Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila  
> Emilio Jacinto: goyosucks  
> Antonio Luna: antangaluna  
> Joven Hernando (he's fictional too!! :0): babyjh  
> Vicente Enriquez: entengenriquez

twomalenames: hey @goyosucks you wanna carpool? we’re downstairs in the lobby  
goyosucks: ooh sure why not  
goyosucks: hey @andresbonipakyu bring the peps  
filmnore: peps???? is that like peeps or pepsi,,,,,  
filmnore: bc either way i am missing out and that is not ok  
goyosucks: haha lol no  
aquestionofjoaquin: lol no peps is zezinho  
filmnore: wut even  
aquestionofjoaquin: well he has an older brother who sometimes calls him peps  
aquestionofjoaquin: bc when he was younger paciano used to call him ‘pepito’  
aquestionofjoaquin: and it got shortened to peps  
twomalenames: and it’s very very lucky PEPS isn’t here rn or we’d all b toast  
goyotheaguila: agreed  
itsalive: paciano?  
andresbonipakyu: oh hi yeah he’s not coming out  
andresbonipakyu: and yes kuya paciano is his older brother  
aquestionofjoaquin: kuya = honorific for older brother  
goyosucks: it doesn’t have a translation and andoy feels v guilty not calling him kuya lol  
goyosucks: wait wdym he’s not coming out?  
andresbonipakyu: he’s not answering the door??  
andresbonipakyu: idk if he’s still inside????  
goyosucks: hold up  
milliedick: we’re otw, hang in there!

* * *

pepeboy: could you guys NOT break down my door plsss  
filmnore: uh oh I know that one  
filmnore: ,,,, hangover  
pepeboy: nope  
pepeboy: just coming down from the high of too much sugar last night  
edgartheraven: that’s not a feeling i’m familiar with, sorry can’t help you  
pepeboy: no that’s fine edgar  
andresbonipakyu: alam mo zeze tarantado ka  
aquestionofjoaquin: = ‘you know, you’re such a worrier’  
goyosucks: can we just cut to the chase  
goyotheaguila: yeah peps everyone thought u died  
pepeboy: well they wouldn’t be wrong  
pepeboy: and ur bringin out all the embarrassing nns rn arent u  
andresbonipakyu: you can always tell when zezinho’s typing one-handed  
filmnore: i am LOVING THIS where’s my popcorn  
andresbonipakyu: and since you didn’t reply I’m assuming you’re now trying not to break the glare at your phone while buttoning your shirt  
andresbonipakyu: don’t forget the two middle buttons like you used to  
pepeboy: omg boni whyyy  
goyosucks: AAAAND that’s where i’ll take this discussion before things get heated  
goyosucks: cmon peps come out  
pepeboy: im not gay  
goyosucks: yeah right  
goyosucks: BUT STILL  
pepeboy: i  
pepeboy: need  
pepeboy: to  
pepeboy: STUDY  
annabananalee: guys if he doesn’t want to yall can’t make him  
edgartheraven: are you sure, zezinho?  
pepeboy: look, i had to BEG my prof to be able to take alt reqs for this trip  
pepeboy: and ONLY bc noli was involved  
edgartheraven: noli who???  
goyosucks: oh that’s zezinho’s novel  
andresbonipakyu: srsly though  
andresbonipakyu: there’s a talk abt marketing and one abt the transfer from digital to paper  
andresbonipakyu: I’m BEGGING  
pepeboy: diyos ko po  
pepeboy: now there’s smth u don’t see every day  
annabananalee: hey andres u need help?  
andresbonipakyu: yes plssss  
edgartheraven: annabel…  
filmnore: attagirl!

oscarwildin: what the fuck,,,,  
pepeboy: im WHEEZING  
andresbonipakyu: gdi anna!!!  
edgartheraven: what happened?!  
oscarwildin: afaik anna just randomly yelled ‘ZEZINHO’ at the top of her lungs,,,,  
oscarwildin: and i HEARD  
oscarwildin: ,,,, i think im in zezinho’s hotel  
goyosucks: no one can talk rn we’re laughing too hard  
andresbonipakyu: i. am. SCREAMING  
edgartheraven: why???!  
edgartheraven: @filmnore get on here  
filmnore: what did edgar do this time  
edgartheraven: nothing!!  
filmnore: yeah right  
goyosucks: no he really didnt do anything  
andresbonipakyu: i’m DYING  
filmnore: huh  
pepeboy: thats,,, that’s not how you say zezinho anna  
annabananalee: well I’m American!  
mercurywells: well to be fair she’s never heard it out loud before  
thewayoftheheming; oho, hg has resurfaced!  
annabananalee: hi thx hg!!!  
filmnore: wait how is she saying it  
edgartheraven: wait how is she saying it and why is it wrong  
aquestionofjoaquin: okay I’m back  
aquestionofjoaquin: and she said it like ‘zeh-zihn-hoe’  
aquestionofjoaquin: XD XD  
pepeboy: HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SORRY IM SORRY  
pepeboy: but I’ve been to portugal and it’s pronounced more like ‘ze-zeen-noh’ I think  
annabananalee: oh sorry  
oscarwildin: anna could you maybe tone it down??  
filmnore: huh  
twomalenames: lolz i just got here and anna yelled again  
edgartheraven: annabel…  
oscarwildin: tho none of yalls deserve it I’m bringing down pizza and actual pepsi  
pepeboy: I AM NOT PEPSI  
andresbonipakyu: say that one more time  
andresbonipakyu: and i’m adding kuya paciano to the gc  
thewayoftheheming: we’ve been collecting quite a lot of filipinos!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pun with andoy gesturing at his nickname is pakyu is kinda slang for fuck you lmaooooo
> 
> FCW19: again, format-conscious. dw abt me!


	8. My God It's The Apocalypse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i made lenore bi
> 
> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila  
> Emilio Jacinto: goyosucks  
> Antonio Luna: antangaluna  
> Joven Hernando: babyjh  
> Vicente Enriquez: entengenriquez

goyosucks: hey, for the americans and brits in this gc  
goyosucks: you have it pretty good  
itsalive: and why’s that?  
goyosucks: none of your group are fuckboys  
oscarwildin: scuze me but ernest seems like a pretty good qualifier  
andresbonipakyu: yeah ilyong u forgot ernest  
thewayoftheheming: i heard my name! yea i love Women ;)  
edgartheraven: yes, ernest is a playboy  
edgartheraven: and quite a jerk while he’s at it  
filmnore: the cishet man……..everyone’s enemy,,, bisexual ppl…… everyone’s idol  
annabananalee: idk ernest’s pretty nice  
thewayoftheheming: THANK you  
edgartheraven: sweet sister i am a cishet man  
filmnore: exactly. and i am a universal idol bitch  
oscarwildin: you do realize that’s the POINT right anna  
oscarwildin: besides @goyosucks u’re not counting me  
goyosucks: i guess gay playboys count  
goyosucks: wait does zezinho count as bi?  
antangaluna: remember that time he was tipsy and tried to flirt with a random guy  
antangaluna: yeah nangyari yan  
selongmysoul: translated as ‘yeah that happened’ for you monolingual morons  
goyosucks: ok he counts as bi  
pepeboy: get off my case mga gago kayo  
andresbonipakyu: ikaw kaya  
pepeboy: ayyy naku po nagtatagalog si señor bonifacio sa madrid!  
pepeboy: jusko apocalypse na WOOO we gonna Die  
annabananalee: quick nick help  
andresbonipakyu: bwisit ka ha  
aquestionofjoaquin: zezinho said something along the lines of ‘andres is speaking filipino in madrid, my god it’s the apocalypse’  
pepeboy: oye nagmumura na din si andresito a  
aquestionofjoaquin: andres basically told him he’s an idiot  
andresbonipakyu: niloloko mo ba ako  
aquestionofjoaquin: and now it’s just ‘awww, little andres is swearing now too!’ dunno what THAT’S about  
aquestionofjoaquin: ‘are you mocking me’ - from andres  
pepeboy: haha nice one nick  
aquestionofjoaquin: don’t think I’m not going to murder you both for doing this in the gc  
oscarwildin: well i for one think nick is a saint and an angel and a blessing to this dark, monolingual earth  
aquestionofjoaquin: THANK you oscar  
oscarwildin: anytime bro  
twomalenames: okay that’s nice and all but i lost mary and em and,,,, i’m lost  
goyosucks: wait, ure the one called george eliot right  
twomalenames: yup yup  
goyosucks: description?  
itsalive: abt 5’6”, nape-length brown hair, tan skin, brown eyes, moustache, dressed in black fedora + matching jacket + white frilly dress shirt  
milliedick: also square toed calf high boots  
goyosucks: got it!  
goyosucks: i'm a bit taller than you, brownish black hair w/ bangs swooping over one side of my face, dark brown eyes, tan,  
goyosucks: long sleeved cream polo shirt w/ black pants and shoes  
goyosucks: look out for me  
twomalenames: will do  
pepeboy: be on the lookout for me too  
pepeboy: and thx 2 edgar u all know what I look like  
twomalenames: no,,, we don’t???  
pepeboy: ok i’m wearing a black vest, white long sleeves, and a hat  
pepeboy: oh and a tie  
aquestionofjoaquin: *waistcoat  
pepeboy: it’s not a waistcoat NICK  
aquestionofjoaquin: it IS a waistcoat ZEZE  
goyosucks: yea no kidding its a damn waistcoat  
pepeboy: edi wow kayo na  
aquestionofjoaquin: *then okay you’re right - that’s roughly it for the monolingual peeps  
aquestionofjoaquin: basically “weird flex but ok”  
filmnore: oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mga gago kayo = you (plural) are stupid
> 
> the rest of nick's translations cover the rest and are pretty on point
> 
> FCW19: tired of me yet?


	9. I'm Not A Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're so sorry we've been gone for some time !! school has taken a toll on us dfjhsd
> 
> EAP: edgartheraven  
> Ernest HW: thewayoftheheming  
> Mary Ann Evans/George Eliot: twomalenames  
> HG Wells: mercurywells  
> Emily Dickinson: milliedick  
> Mary Shelley: itsalive  
> Fyodor Dostoevsky: yoitsfyo  
> Agatha Christie: shewasstabbed  
> Charlotte Brontë: brontayyyyy  
> Oscar Wilde: oscarwildin  
> Jose Rizal: pepeboy  
> Andres Bonifacio: andresbonipakyu  
> Nick Joaquin: aquestionofjoaquin  
> Gregorio del Pilar: goyotheaguila  
> Emilio Jacinto: goyosucks  
> Antonio Luna: antangaluna  
> Joven Hernando: babyjh  
> Vicente Enriquez: entengenriquez

Marcelo H. del Pilar: what the heck is this gc  
goyotheaguila: TIYO !!!!  
Marcelo H. del Pilar: OH YUCK WHY IS MY NEPHEW HERE  
Marcelo H. del Pilar: jk lmao

Marcelo H. del Pilar changed his own nickname to selongmysoul.

selongmysoul: @Graciano Lopez-Jaena oy  
filmnore: excuse me  
annabananalee: aww!  
babyjh: goyo, explain  
goyotheaguila: tiyo selONG !!!!!!!!  
edgartheraven: goyo pls  
goyotheaguila: he’s my uncle!  
filmnore: yeah no shit honey  
goyosucks: no swearing this is a joven friendly server  
babyjh: ok but im legit 19 and i cuss i,,, i’m not a child u assholes  
babyjh: shit enteng help kuya ilyong just barged into my room and covered my ears  
selongmysoul: ...should I tell fernando  
goyotheaguila: NO  
filmnore: who?  
selongmysoul: my brother, his dad  
filmnore: this is lowkey weird  
goyotheaguila: @pepeboy why the hell did you add my tiyo here  
pepeboy: he’s an ilustrado too ano ka ba  
aquestionofjoaquin: irrelevant filipino  
pepeboy: can you guys stop blowing up the chat pls  
pepeboy: i’m trying to take a test  
selongmysoul: ah sorry  
goyotheaguila: aww tiyo  
selongmysoul: goyo go to sleep  
selongmysoul: sasapakin ako ni pepe kung hindi sya makapag-aral  
selongmysoul: kaya matulog ka na  
aquestionofjoaquin: @monolinguals lol what he said = ‘pepe’s gonna punch me if he can’t study so just sleep now’  
aquestionofjoaquin: and yeah @selongmysoul pepe is now called zezinho  
aquestionofjoaquin: don’t argue  
selongmysoul: how the hell??  
goyosucks: HEY  
goyosucks: J O V E N F R I E N D L Y S E R V E R  
babyjh: IM AN ADULT SDFJKJSJD  
selongmysoul: *heck  
filmnore: sry we’re just ignorant monolinguals  
edgartheraven: yeah ‘zezinho’ just sort of  
edgartheraven: happened  
goyosucks: where even is goyo anyway  
thewayoftheheming: idkkkk last time he messaged me he said he was going out  
thewayoftheheming: party maybe  
goyotheaguila: oooo HELlO YEeHAW  
goyotheaguila: PAPI UGH YES  
selongmysoul: goyo  
selongmysoul: goyo r u ok  
selongmysoul: srsly do i need to tell fernando  
selongmysoul: goyo r u drunk texting  
goyotheaguila: ITS SUMMER I CAN BE Y U M M Y  
antangaluna: ????  
pepeboy: NOT FOR ME BITCH  
pepeboy: don’t mock my painnnnn  
selongmysoul: ...you are an embarrassment to the del pilar name  
selongmysoul: goyo, not pepe  
twomalenames: zezinho’s not a del pilar anyway LOL  
andresbonipakyu: *zezinho  
antangaluna: goyo wtf  
antangaluna: its,,,, NOT summer tanga mo  
goyotheaguila: *punts t ir nsmne*  
selongmysoul: good lord he’s drunk tonyo help  
antangaluna: me?!?!  
antangaluna: why the fuck am I helping this bitch  
goyosucks: JOVEN FRIENDLY SERVER  
antangaluna: *frick *beach  
babyjh: NO !!!!!

Joven Hernando changed his own nickname to im_a_big_boi_stop_it.  
entengenriquez changed Joven Hernando’s nickname to imbaby.

imbaby: JKFSJDHJ  
imbaby: fine eto compromise

Joven Hernando changed his own nickname to babyjh.

entengenriquez: love u :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eto = heto = ito = "this"/"here"  
> tiyo = "uncle"  
> ano ka ba = basically "what are you" idk take that as u will
> 
> FCW19: format-conscious bitch? present

**Author's Note:**

> Please also forgive the authors of this fic, the styles will be VERY inconsistent.


End file.
